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I Thought Jet Li Retired? [It's Probably Grand Theft Auto's Fault]
By Shawn | July 1, 2008
Word is coming in from China that a man going by the name of Yang (that has played a little to much time as Niko Bellic) stormed into a Shanghai police station and KILLED five officers and wounded another four…with a fucking knife… Did you hear that? He took out NINE Chinese police officers, that I would assume are armed, in a station of even more armed people…with guns…and bullets. I would also assume that they all know some sort of martial art as well. Seriously, if American police are trained in hand to hand combat the Chinese should know how to break one guys arm even with a knife. Oh yea, they reason he did this is because the police a year before investigated him for stealing a bike. That’s right he is still alive AND after the Kill Bill style attack he went outside and started a fire for what we can only assume he was going to use to roast the balls of his victims whilst witting his memoirs entitled “9 Reasons NOT to Investigate Yang for Bike Theft”
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