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Starbucks to Close 600 Shitty Stores [Damn You McDonalds and Gas!!!]
By Shawn | July 1, 2008
In a move that Fungdark insiders are calling “huh?” and “I don’t really care” Starbucks announced today that they will be closing 600 “under performing” stores over the next year or so and that it is only going to cost them $328 to $348 million (trade that stock for apple stock before it’s too late). I guess the Paul McCartney album didn’t work out as hoped. If I had an extra $500k laying around I would buy one and turn it into a Dockers Outlet Store.
I wonder if they are going to close the my favorite Starbucks…it’s a nice little location located in the back corner of another Starbucks. It get’s way less traffic and the staff knows what I like without having to ask (Non fat half caff tripple grande quarter sweet sugar free vanilla non-fat lactaid extra hot extra foamy caramel macchiato) , what can I say? If you think I am joking I am, but I used to work in North Scottsdale and there was seriously a shopping center with a Target and an Albertson’s that BOTH had a Starbucks in addition to the stand alone Starbucks right in between them. This shopping center was a block away from a Safeway with a Starbucks that was next to ANOTHER stand alone. Check the map, you can’t even SEE number “4″ on the map because its UNDER “5″ , that’s FIVE Starbucks within one block of each other and I say that wasn’t NEARLY enough and it makes me sad that we might not get to see Lewis Black’s vision of the apocalypse come true…SUCK-ME!
Topics: News |
One Response to “Starbucks to Close 600 Shitty Stores [Damn You McDonalds and Gas!!!]”
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July 2nd, 2008 at 10:07 am
AT FIRST I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THIS EITHER. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO STOPPED GOING TO STARBIZZLES AND STARTED GOING TO MCDONALDS (PUKE) FOR COFFEE. THE COFFEE IS FINE AND CHEAP BUT THE SERVICE IS FUCKING INSANE. I HATE MCDONALDS WITH ALL MY HEART! EVERY TIME I GO THEY FUCK UP OR TREAT ME LIKE CRAP…AS IF I AM BOTHERING THEM BY BEING THERE. FUCK MCDONALDS AND THE WHITE TRASH, NON ENGLISH SPEAKING, CONVICT, LOW IQ MOTHER FUCKING ASS FACE BITCHES!!!!