News
Spain Gets Gold Medal In Racism [Germans Get Silver]
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008Oh boy, this is awkward. Apparently, someone on Spain’s Olympic basketball team thought it would be really funny to take a picture with slanted eyes. You know, since the Olympics are in China this year. This picture is kind of like when you convince your girlfriend to let you take naked pictures of her but [...] Read more »
People Wasting Their Money on Porn [Great Bush]
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008Well you can thank our President for providing a surge into the already stuffed mouths coffers of the porn industry. According to an independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company) adult web sites have seen a 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May.
Jillian Fox, spokeswoman for LSGmodels.com, one of the sites
reporting figures to [...] Read more »
Fill ‘Er Up
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008I know gas has gotten really expensive but this is a little fucking ridiculous. A Kentucky women was arrested for trading sex in exchange for a $100 gas card or roughly 25 gallons of gas. I’ve got two big problems with this. First off, have a little self respect, lady - sure [...] Read more »
I Thought Jet Li Retired? [It's Probably Grand Theft Auto's Fault]
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008Word is coming in from China that a man going by the name of Yang (that has played a little to much time as Niko Bellic) stormed into a Shanghai police station and KILLED five officers and wounded another four…with a fucking knife… Did you hear that? He took out NINE Chinese police officers, that [...] Read more »
Starbucks to Close 600 Shitty Stores [Damn You McDonalds and Gas!!!]
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008In a move that Fungdark insiders are calling “huh?” and “I don’t really care” Starbucks announced today that they will be closing 600 “under performing” stores over the next year or so and that it is only going to cost them $328 to $348 million (trade that stock for apple stock before it’s too late). [...] Read more »
Georgia Boy has Head Decapitated by Roller Coaster [survival of the fittest]
Saturday, June 28th, 2008This really really happened. I am not even joking, he wasn’t even riding it for gods sake. He jumped over the “Don’t cross THIS line or your head will get chopped off” line and since Six Flaggs has engineers that measure that shit out before hand, he in fact did have his head chopped [...] Read more »
Smack it Up, Flip it, Rub it Down [table fucking]
Wednesday, June 25th, 200840 year old Ohio native Aurthur Price (who is over Eighty tall) was arrested and charged with indecency after allegedly fucking his own personal lawn furniture in his own personal yard. His nosy unnamed neighbor claims to have seen him flip over the furniture before hand (everybody knows lawn chairs like doggy style) on [...] Read more »
There Will Be Poop!
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008Great Gene Wilder’s ball sack gas is expensive! But I don’t have to tell you that. You’ve got a car, you know the deal, gas has reached record prices and quite frankly it’s a pain in my balls. But there may be hope yet, friends. According to this article scientists in [...] Read more »
FIREFOX 3 DAY!!! [browsers]
Monday, June 16th, 2008I hope you are all ready for the latest update of the best browser in the whole wide world, that my boss loves to hate (if not, get fucking ready). I have been rocking the release clients as they have been released for a couple of weeks now and I can say from experience that [...] Read more »
Murder She Wrote…LIVE!
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008In what I can only describe as one of the oddest murder mysteries I have ever heard of, two crazy old bitches in California (insert “only in California” joke here) killed a couple of homeless guys to collect the insurance money. You might ask yourself “self, why would homeless guys have life insurance?” and if [...] Read more »